Rock your world

Oh, what a powerful understanding! I had to say this every time I would pray for someone. This is something the Lord had been teaching me constantly. Now I get to be obedient. My husband or my kids are my sidekicks when we go and bless whoever God sets out to bless.

Last night we got to go to another funeral. In this funeral my husband got to see one of his long time friends. A very nice veteran with a lot of history in and out of war zones in the middle east. He is a very elegant, honest, and humble person. He was explaining all medical complications due to trauma. Its amazing what these men have to go through in a war.

God definitely showed my husband this was a God encounter. So he started testifying about the God we know, the supernatural, always with us Jesus our redeemer. The guy was so hurt by religion he did not want anything to do with it. We mention about my position. I explained that I used to be a atheist and I did not believe in religion, that I believe in having a real relationship with Jesus. This made him listen.

That is when he started to be interested but not so convinced. I still went for what God wants which is to love even when they don’t know. God definitely showed up in prayer. He was just taking away all his trauma and past from his heart and filling him up with His amazing goodness and love. This man’s eyes where so moved and watery, I knew God had done what He came to do. He did not even want to let go of my hand. God is faithful. God is always wanting to love all his children.

After this gentleman, in that same funeral, a man started to speak to me while I was waiting for my husband. This man poured out his life traumas and his hurts so fast, I was amazed God wanted to heal someone else. This man let me know how he resented His father for being a violent drunk. He also resented God for loosing his mother, first to prison, and then dying early due to cancer. While his father continued his life without deserving it.

God through prayer opened his heart to release all that pressure and lifetime disappointments to pour into His spirit His love and goodness. With God’s love and healing this gentleman was moved. He was blessing my family and so thankful for such a moment. He was telling my husband how lucky he was to have me and my daughters. This is the love of God that was just poured into his heart, now he was just overflowing with God’s goodness and love for others.

God heals broken hearts.

God transform any situation.

God is waiting for us to let go and let God.

God is always available to bless and renew every one of His children.

I pray that God makes you feel His loving embrace through his wind. In Jesus name. Amen.

God loves you and so do I.

Why I chose darkness?

Early in my life, I remember seeing cartoons of healing miracles performed by the Virgin Mary of Fatima through some little kids. I remember telling my mother that I wanted to heal people like those kids. She said to me with such conviction that since I was a good girl I could probably get to see the Virgin Mary at some point and I could get that ability from her. After this information I could only imagine that lady creeping up in my room at night, so I would always go and sneak in my mother’s bedroom because I was sure I was seeing things at night move in my room. This went on most of my formative toddler and middle school years. Being brought up as a “Catholic” I would only visit the church if I stayed for the weekend with my grandparents or on especial events like baptisms or weddings. I do remember my mother praying The Lord’s Prayer with me every night, this was the limited information I got on a relationship with God.

To summarize my “bible study” when I was just a child was:

-Church was visited once in blue moon or especial events. Oh, and when you visit ask God for one thing you really want. (“Like a genie in a bottle.”)

-Virgin Mary can visit kids and she has all the power to heal so she is the one to give it to us kids to perform.

-Pray the Lord’s prayer every night.

-Once a month you would get light a candle to a saint for a prayer request. My mom’s favorite was saint Jude. She would purchase this candle at the supermarket. I did get to do this a few times when I had my own apartment.

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Growing up my grandmother loved to talk about the paranormal activity she experienced in her house due to living right in front of a cemetery when she was growing up. Her mother was a spiritist and she dabbled in the occult. So, the paranormal activity had nothing to do with the cemetery, I am sure of this. This type of conversations just freaked me out even more. I was so afraid of the dark when I was just a small child. I remember having horrible night terrors. The idea of crossing the hallway to my mother’s bedroom got to be torture for years.

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Fast forwarding a few years I went through a couple of bad experiences that no little girl should ever go through and this really change my love for God. Not that I had established a real love for someone I barely knew existed. I knew more about the virgin Mary and paranormal activity than I knew about Jesus. So sad, I know! When these incidents happened, and my family did not listen due to the family name and their status I was really hurt. I understood that God was never with me and I thought by then, that there could not be a God. After all the emotional abandonment and the disregard for my trauma I grew bitter and hated the world more and more by the minute. I decided to turn my world into a party non-stop, so I could anesthetize my pain. I had this really “cool and awesome life” or so that is how I showed all my friends and family but deep down inside hate, depression, sadness, and loneliness were eating me up inside. I needed to take control of my life, so I decided to dabble in the occult. I started with a “Ouija Board” and ended up in “white witchcraft” let me tell you there is no white or black, witchcraft is witchcraft. I decided I would start reading tarot cards and got really good at it.

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At a very young age I decided to have a very deep relationship with this person. As soon as this relationship turned sour I wanted to control it. I did a spell to make us closer. That night after the moonlight, the candles, the time, and the words he calls me and tells me that his car and all that was in it was stolen. I remember crying like a baby. His car was new, and everything cool he owned for entertainment was in it, including a work laptop. I got him into so much trouble. I felt so guilty that I told him what I had done. This just created the unhealthiest relationship ever lived. We were always together because he depended on me to drive him everywhere. He was so upset and unhappy it was depressing to see. This just led us to crash and burn years later after much emotional abuse. To this day I can say that all the years subjected to witchcraft my life was unstable, depressive, and so empty. I could be surrounded by many friends and having “fun” and still feel a void that friends, alcohol, or parties could never fill.

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Years went by and changes came, I got tired of doing the same thing over and over again. God was ready to work with my heart by then. I remember starting to sing a song that was in my mind for a long time when I was alone. I had heard this song at my high school graduation years before I started singing it and it had stuck in my head. The high school graduation was a Catholic mass, so, this was a song of praise to the Lord. I did not know about praise or God being moved in praise. My mind would always go back to that song. So, I kept singing it when alone. Now I see that God was doing it all for me. I did not even know how powerful His praise could be. So, several years in this bad situation I would open my catholic school bible and ask God to lead me to what he wanted to tell me. If he was real? This was 3 different times in 3 different years. The page that would always come up in this old bible, never used, and never marked was:

DEUTERONOMY+18-10-14Deuteronomy 18: 10-14:   “No one among you is to sacrifice his son or daughter in the fire, practice divination, tell fortunes, interpret omens, practice sorcery, cast spells, consult a medium or a spiritist, or inquire of the dead. Everyone who does these acts is detestable to the Lord, and the Lord your God is driving out the nations before you because of these detestable acts. You must be blameless before the Lord your God. Though these nations you are about to drive out listen to fortune-tellers and diviners, the Lord your God has not permitted you to do this.”

The third year, the third time, trust me, I freaked out and I definitely got the message. That same day I decided to trashed thousands of dollars in witchcraft books and collectable tarot cards. I never looked back. I did not start reading the bible right away, but I still was starting to see changes in my life. God, year after year, was working on the life he wanted me to live, not the one I was living. One night after 3 years without a special person in my life, I prayed to God. I decided to scream because I was so angry at him. I told him that deep down inside I had always been a good girl and that it was time, I deserved that good guy that would never let me down. That same night because of a really bad experience with a girl at church my “especial guy” decided to ask God in prayer for a girl that had nothing to do with church. That night I met my husband. We have been together ever since. His family was the one to open the door to know the love of God. I thank God every day for his way to love us even when we don’t know the power of his love in our lives. He keeps seeking us. It’s our wrong attitude and decisions that keep pushing Him away. Choose to put him first by talking to God like if he was sitting next to you. Apologize for whatever wrong you may have done and invite Him into your life. Oh the beauty you can experience at his feet will surpass anything lived up to now.

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Please, pray with me today:

Thank you, God for truth being spoken to our hearts.

Thank you, Jesus for taking away our heart of stone and giving us a new heart of flesh ready to receive a new spirit in us.

Thank you for your wisdom, knowledge, and understanding, revealed each day to our hearts.

Thank you for renewing our strength and our love to bless others and bring love to those who need it.

In Jesus name. Amen.

God loves you and so do I.

I forgive you. I prefer healing.

I remember all the things I WANTED TO SAY.  The incredible part of all the things I have written before this one, does not represent the woman God has transformed me into, day in and day out for years. I know the weight of all the words we choose to place in a journal, diary, a piece paper, or even type into a computer screen. I remember burning many journals because I was ashamed when writing about my way of life and my thoughts. For many years I lived in a very dark place. My family did see my wrong actions but never tried to figure out the root of the problem. All were pretty quick to correct me, but never taking any time to really know me. If you get to know your child they will open up to talk to you about anything.  I spend most of my adolescence with suicidal thoughts. No one knew! Not even my best of friends. My closest relatives only smelled the alcohol and knew that I was hanging out at all hours of the night without really having the age for all of it. No one intervene. No one asked how they could help. They were all quick to tell me how wrong and bad my actions were. No one took the time to know me, no one really knew how to reach me and analize what was going on in my mind. The power struggle to make me behave without knowing me was always in action. Please if you are young and going through suicidal thoughts, please talk about it! Please do not hide your feelings! It is always necessary to make your feelings known. If your parents are not willing to be there, talk to God and ask him to guide you to a youth group in a church were you can get friends that will support you and the counseling you may need with a pastor. I did not believe in any of this. Now I can say that it does work.

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I am sure that with the power of love everything would have gone in a very different direction. I can see that love has the ability to cancel all wrongs. The society we live is all about pride. That is the household I lived in. Pride was the most important element present. My mother never could accept her hurts and I could never accept to her how much I needed help. We were tip towing around each other and in silence, just hurting one another.

My house hold for a long time did not know God’s true love and wisdom. I am now sure that when we submit to the Spirit of Truth we will be able to know how to deal with any situation that arises. God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit are to liberate anyone who seeks with a sincere heart. It says as a promise in Psalm 91:14-16 “I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call on me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.”

Deuteronomy 5:16

Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God has commanded you, so that your days may be long and that it may go well with you in the land the LORD your God is giving you.

Ephesians 6:2-3

Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with a promise, so that it may go well with you and that you may have a long life in the land.

I know its hard to honor parents when they are not honoring you. Please do not belittle your faith and your love for God by acting in anger towards them. Parents sometimes are so caught up in their own life mistakes and bad decisions they cannot consider your needs. Give them mercy and pray for them non stop. God will bless you in ways you have never been blessed before.

I will live to love no matter the “humiliation” that is basically what Jesus did for all while he was alive and worst of all when he was being humiliated as the scum of the earth. We all know he was clean of sin and the true royalty of heaven on earth. What did we do? What are we capable of? Why can’t we just choose love? The absence of love got him on that cross!

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.  Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. – 1 John 4:7-8

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Please pray with me today…

Jesus with all my heart I ask for full reveal of truth in the hearts of every member in our household.

Holy Spirit come and make your home inside of each individual in our household. Please convict us of any wrongdoing and maintain us real an accountable with one another.

Than you God for your grace and your love that you pour into our family daily.

In the name of Jesus bless each and every person with your wisdom, understanding, and your knowledge.

Amen.

God loves you and so do I.