Intimate letter to Abba

Abba I am here writing to You to tell you how impressed we are by your masterpiece. To look at your dusk and to look at you dawn, and its majestic colors just fills our hearts with joy. The time spent in prayer, the time spent in reading your word has transformed our thinking. My family is blessed to know you and to seek you daily. Can’t wait to see the fruits in everyone’s intimate relationship with you.

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This season I started to notice how my heart is seeking to love you and to thank you for everything you do daily for our family and our walk of faith. Abba you picked me before the world was created. Lord you knew me from the time I was being formed in my mother’s wound. Even when my mother and my father considered terminating my life you had called me and had a wonderful plan for my life (Isaiah 49:1).

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You say that no weapon formed against me shall prosper and even before I knew who my Father is, You covered me under your wings (Isaiah 54:17). My mother and my father had to cancel the abortion because You my Abba had better plans for your servant (Psalm 27:10). Thank you, Father that I now see what is to have a thankful heart. I feel in my inner most being to thank you every day that no matter what my parents did, I was loved by my Father in heaven way before I was conceived (Isaiah 54:8). Now at your feet meditating on your word and your truth I can see all the times you chose a better life for me. Thank you Abba for the truth revealed at your feet (Isaiah 48:17).

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I moved to Las Vegas, Nevada when I was young and stupid and made many poor choices and you still covered me under your wings (Psalm 91:1). I still see all the times you called me to align my life with your purpose for my life and I just was too blind to see beyond my self-pity. Thank you for bringing my life out of the pit of depression, anxiety, loneliness, and chaos (Psalm 103:4). Nobody knew how deeply hurt I was, my heart was so numb. I can see now how hurt people keep hurting others around them without even noticing it (Proverbs 17:22). I remember the day I left the front door open to my apartment, I lived next to the gate where everyone enters and leaves the community daily. I slept with that door open all night long and my purse was next to the front door. Nothing happened! Why? You Abba Father, You covered me and kept me safe (Proverbs 18:10 CJB). I remember the day “my dream guy” asked me to get married in a drive by church in Las Vegas and you placed in my heart’s understanding “this is not the time, the place, or the guy.” Abba I can see it now, you showed up every time I needed you, even in the worst choices I made, you were there to carry me back to your side (Isaiah 43:19). Deep down inside all I wanted was real love and acceptance that this world was unable to give me. I always seemed to know that I needed to pray and I did, even in my worst situations I prayed, I knew having you in my life was necessary. All that time praying without even knowing how to speak to you, you listened and you took care of me. First of all thank you for helping me find You so I could be healed and transformed through the love of family. I found it Abba, thank you because I found the love of my life, I found the family that filled every void I carried for so long, thank you Abba. I found the people that deserve all my time and energy to build them up to understand that they are loved, not by me alone, but by You. You are the Alpha and the Omega. You are omnipresent, omniscient, the God who heals, the God who gives peace that surpasses all earthly understanding, You are the Holy One, You are the creator, You are the ultimate creative genius on earth and in the heavens.

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Lord, I want to be your servant until my last breath. I wish to ask you before I go:

Did I helped woke up the souls that you needed to be awaken so the truth of your love and your ways would disperse across the world?

Was I your living walking testimony each and every day?

Did I do what you sent me to do in this time on earth?

Did I feed enough lives?

Please pray with me today,

Thank you, Father for a new day where I take a new breath and I am able to listen to your birds sing, I can see your butterflies, I can see your dawn, I can see your beautiful skies, I can see your care, your love for me and my family. Here I am Father, a new day awaits, may I be able to listen to your still voice, your servant awaits. Amen.

In Jesus name we pray.

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Purpose

Long time contemplating this word. P U R P O S E. Always thought I was walking my purpose. God has a way of challenging our walk of faith. I am starting to understand that when I start to get comfortable and my walk is not challenging my faith, something will have to be altered. This past week I was surprised by God’s transparency about a difficult situation. This same week I had been helping and counseling some friends. Everything God brought to my attention guiding a friend was really needed by me. God used difficult circumstances in other people’s lives to teach me through my own words of guidance and counseling. So thankful for the great teacher we serve. God is so creative that He can use any situation as a teaching moment to question your walk of faith. “For the word of God is living and effective and sharper than any double-edged sword, penetrating as far as the separation of soul and spirit, joints and marrow. It is able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.” Hebrews 4:12 CSB

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My faith was challenged this week by two options. God knows how much I wanted to go back to work and achieve our new financial goals. God also had other plans by having always the best interest in mind for me and my family. After 2 years of no job offers, I had left everything at God’s feet and kept serving others since He placed it in my heart to do so. This week something shifted, this week random moms, random students, my own kids physically hurt, and professionals at school let me know how much the education system does not meet our standards. I received a call, only to be asked: if my 6 year old had a blood disorder? I asked: why? They told me her lip would not stop bleeding after another incident, same girl as the last time, broke her lip “accidentally with her head.” As God does how he wants, he brought transparency through a 3rd grader. This third grader told me the whole story and it definitely was not accidental, and also this girl explained that supervision was not available at the moment. Less than 5 month of school and my youngest has had her lip broken twice, by the same girl. Oh, and the school investigated and “did not find anything wrong with the situation.” At the same time in the other classroom my oldest had been bullied and no teacher cared to intervene. She likes to read in quiet times, and this gets her bullied because it’s not what regular 5th graders do today. So now I go back to square one. A year before this one I was in the same crossroads do to bullying, asking myself if I homeschool or change schools? No more schools! We decided, as a family, we will homeschool. I also started praying to God for confirmation about home schooling and to include in his confirmation all the resources needed to pursue this challenge. As funny and as effective, prayer with God is, that same day a friend published on Facebook a memory of her decision in 2011 to start homeschooling her son. She was swearing how bless she was for making this decision. I asked her more about it. She gave me all the resources and basically told me the same things I thought about this. She had told me she would have never chosen homeschooling. God chose this for her. This is exactly where I was. After all this confirmation. God also gave me the opportunity to speak to another homeschooler mom that helped with our final decision. I can tell you that I felt like screaming and running into my room and staying hidden to avoid this new step we had to make. This is not a decision that I would like to make at this moment in my walk with God and he knows it. I admire how much he has changed me and how much he has transform my obedience. I understand now that to Step UP and be strong and courageous is part of having a bit of human uncertainty somewhere in that decision.

Now the interesting part of this whole story. Like I already mentioned, I had been looking to go back to work to meet our financial goals. Well that afternoon my husband and I had already decided on homeschooling, it was set. To my surprise, a few minutes later, I get a call: “we are calling you to offer you a position.” For 2 years I had not received 1 call. The day we decide to do something for our kid’s future and our family’s well-being, this happens! I could have chosen that door of financial freedom. The incredible thing was that I remember the last time we contemplated the same thing I was left without homeschooling and without the job I was offered. I knew this time I would follow what the Lord placed in my heart with fear and trembling. I did not think I was capable of homeschooling, but God has been surprising me with all the information and resources he has given us to achieve it. I knew this call was just to make me stumble and I was surprised by this revelation and started to laugh uncontrollably for more than 2 minutes. My kids where asking me in the car, are you ok mom? Mom? Mom? I could not stop for so long. This uncontrollable laughter felt like such a blessing and a breakthrough. Choosing my kids over our finances one more time was such an amazing moment. I had done it when my first baby was born but now after all the sacrifices and the dreams placed on hold for more than 10 years to still make this choice, it was definitely God in me making it for me! Soo bless to understand this word today…

“Enter through the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the road broad that leads to destruction, and there are many who go through it. How narrow is the gate and difficult the road that leads to life, and few find it.”Matthew 7:13-14 CSB

Trust me I am completely intimidated by starting to homeschool. I know for a fact that in my weakness He is made strong. I had the opportunity to speak to a very wise lady from my church and she let me know that same day: “God qualifies the called.” It’s definitely a blessing to be surrounded by women of faith and wisdom that surpasses all earthly understanding. This just gives access for God to always confirm what He decides to do for you in your walk of faith.

Please pray with me today…

I thank you Lord for all the wonderful women of faith that you place in our path and I also thank you for all the difficult people because they build us up and challenge us to go deeper in our faith and to seek truth daily.

Amen.

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Idols

In the ancient times, idols were considered statues made of different materials like mud, gold, or silver. People would take time and adore them and pray to them. To this day some people still have these idols. The incredible thing is that we could give the place of an idol to many other things.

Entertainment and psychological analysis has been taking over the world. According to many psychological studies everything can be turn into an obsession, therefore becoming an idol in our lives. You can name a subject and there is a self help or dummies book or an online course to help you master the area you want to master in your daily lives.

The reality is that we are all made with different capabilities. What if you are trying to master something God wants to help you let go and let Him take over. He can have a better way than the way we developed in our own understanding.

When my first daughter arrived I remember all the books and online articles I read to be the best mom I could be. I wanted her to have the best of everything. I needed to know I was completely right, in every decision I made over her life. At the time I did not have a personal relationship with God. My thoughts when she arrived was “This is a small beautiful child that depends on me and does not come with instructions.”

Its easy to fall into these situations. All we end up doing is making an idol in our lives. Something that takes all of our daily time, effort, and energy in thought, could become your idol.

God gave us an awesome understanding of this when we kept seeking him in prayer. Our eldest daughter went through bullying to the extreme. That’s when God taught us that we had no control over her life. We were going to have to trust God with her life and decisions from now on. He closed all doors to be able to help our daughter on our own terms. Then we submitted in prayer a door open wide to get to educate the other kids parents on treating a girl with respect. It was a family mediation at a police station. These individuals were really afraid to be there due to a grade school incident. As a family that works in entertainment, the priority on moral values in this household was limited. I am sure this mediation helped all the kids involved understand how to treat each other within boundaries and respect.

My husband and I learned once more the power of prayer. We keep praying because we understand that our kids needs are all placed in our Creator’s hands. No need to obsess about their well being, just need to place everything in prayer and petition at all times. Let go and let God is something that my husband and I are adopting day by day. Oh and it is a work in progress. Sometimes we fall off the wagon of faith and just try to get back up as soon as possible.

These days Idols can be anything at all. Televisions shows, cooking, tablets, cell phones, facebook, instagram, youtube, laptops, cars, hobbies, or movies consuming so much time in a person’s life that they don’t have time to remain still and quiet to seek peace, love, joy, goodness, and so much more in their daily lives.

We don’t have it mastered yet and I know that its on purpose so we decide to submit in prayer and petition daily every decision and every life we care for. Only God has a better plan then the one we have. God can make everything better daily. To live in His perfect peace should be our daily goal.

Pray with me today…

Jesus bring your perfect peace to every thought and action today. Help me submit all my thoughts to you and your will in our lives.

God loves you and so do I.

Walking in faith

See open doors…

See eyes wide open.

See new riches in His glory.

Jesus is our hope of Glory.

Thank you Jesus for the riches of you glory being revealed to your saints.

May God give you the strength of pursuing His love and his transformation.

Thank you God for your Spirit of truth and revelation.

Remain a servant always following in Jesus’ footsteps.