Long time contemplating this word. P U R P O S E. Always thought I was walking my purpose. God has a way of challenging our walk of faith. I am starting to understand that when I start to get comfortable and my walk is not challenging my faith, something will have to be altered. This past week I was surprised by God’s transparency about a difficult situation. This same week I had been helping and counseling some friends. Everything God brought to my attention guiding a friend was really needed by me. God used difficult circumstances in other people’s lives to teach me through my own words of guidance and counseling. So thankful for the great teacher we serve. God is so creative that He can use any situation as a teaching moment to question your walk of faith. “For the word of God is living and effective and sharper than any double-edged sword, penetrating as far as the separation of soul and spirit, joints and marrow. It is able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.” Hebrews 4:12 CSB
My faith was challenged this week by two options. God knows how much I wanted to go back to work and achieve our new financial goals. God also had other plans by having always the best interest in mind for me and my family. After 2 years of no job offers, I had left everything at God’s feet and kept serving others since He placed it in my heart to do so. This week something shifted, this week random moms, random students, my own kids physically hurt, and professionals at school let me know how much the education system does not meet our standards. I received a call, only to be asked: if my 6 year old had a blood disorder? I asked: why? They told me her lip would not stop bleeding after another incident, same girl as the last time, broke her lip “accidentally with her head.” As God does how he wants, he brought transparency through a 3rd grader. This third grader told me the whole story and it definitely was not accidental, and also this girl explained that supervision was not available at the moment. Less than 5 month of school and my youngest has had her lip broken twice, by the same girl. Oh, and the school investigated and “did not find anything wrong with the situation.” At the same time in the other classroom my oldest had been bullied and no teacher cared to intervene. She likes to read in quiet times, and this gets her bullied because it’s not what regular 5th graders do today. So now I go back to square one. A year before this one I was in the same crossroads do to bullying, asking myself if I homeschool or change schools? No more schools! We decided, as a family, we will homeschool. I also started praying to God for confirmation about home schooling and to include in his confirmation all the resources needed to pursue this challenge. As funny and as effective, prayer with God is, that same day a friend published on Facebook a memory of her decision in 2011 to start homeschooling her son. She was swearing how bless she was for making this decision. I asked her more about it. She gave me all the resources and basically told me the same things I thought about this. She had told me she would have never chosen homeschooling. God chose this for her. This is exactly where I was. After all this confirmation. God also gave me the opportunity to speak to another homeschooler mom that helped with our final decision. I can tell you that I felt like screaming and running into my room and staying hidden to avoid this new step we had to make. This is not a decision that I would like to make at this moment in my walk with God and he knows it. I admire how much he has changed me and how much he has transform my obedience. I understand now that to Step UP and be strong and courageous is part of having a bit of human uncertainty somewhere in that decision.
Now the interesting part of this whole story. Like I already mentioned, I had been looking to go back to work to meet our financial goals. Well that afternoon my husband and I had already decided on homeschooling, it was set. To my surprise, a few minutes later, I get a call: “we are calling you to offer you a position.” For 2 years I had not received 1 call. The day we decide to do something for our kid’s future and our family’s well-being, this happens! I could have chosen that door of financial freedom. The incredible thing was that I remember the last time we contemplated the same thing I was left without homeschooling and without the job I was offered. I knew this time I would follow what the Lord placed in my heart with fear and trembling. I did not think I was capable of homeschooling, but God has been surprising me with all the information and resources he has given us to achieve it. I knew this call was just to make me stumble and I was surprised by this revelation and started to laugh uncontrollably for more than 2 minutes. My kids where asking me in the car, are you ok mom? Mom? Mom? I could not stop for so long. This uncontrollable laughter felt like such a blessing and a breakthrough. Choosing my kids over our finances one more time was such an amazing moment. I had done it when my first baby was born but now after all the sacrifices and the dreams placed on hold for more than 10 years to still make this choice, it was definitely God in me making it for me! Soo bless to understand this word today…
“Enter through the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the road broad that leads to destruction, and there are many who go through it. How narrow is the gate and difficult the road that leads to life, and few find it.”Matthew 7:13-14 CSB
Trust me I am completely intimidated by starting to homeschool. I know for a fact that in my weakness He is made strong. I had the opportunity to speak to a very wise lady from my church and she let me know that same day: “God qualifies the called.” It’s definitely a blessing to be surrounded by women of faith and wisdom that surpasses all earthly understanding. This just gives access for God to always confirm what He decides to do for you in your walk of faith.
Please pray with me today…
I thank you Lord for all the wonderful women of faith that you place in our path and I also thank you for all the difficult people because they build us up and challenge us to go deeper in our faith and to seek truth daily.