I remember all the things I WANTED TO SAY. The incredible part of all the things I have written before this one, does not represent the woman God has transformed me into, day in and day out for years. I know the weight of all the words we choose to place in a journal, diary, a piece paper, or even type into a computer screen. I remember burning many journals because I was ashamed when writing about my way of life and my thoughts. For many years I lived in a very dark place. My family did see my wrong actions but never tried to figure out the root of the problem. All were pretty quick to correct me, but never taking any time to really know me. If you get to know your child they will open up to talk to you about anything. I spend most of my adolescence with suicidal thoughts. No one knew! Not even my best of friends. My closest relatives only smelled the alcohol and knew that I was hanging out at all hours of the night without really having the age for all of it. No one intervene. No one asked how they could help. They were all quick to tell me how wrong and bad my actions were. No one took the time to know me, no one really knew how to reach me and analize what was going on in my mind. The power struggle to make me behave without knowing me was always in action. Please if you are young and going through suicidal thoughts, please talk about it! Please do not hide your feelings! It is always necessary to make your feelings known. If your parents are not willing to be there, talk to God and ask him to guide you to a youth group in a church were you can get friends that will support you and the counseling you may need with a pastor. I did not believe in any of this. Now I can say that it does work.
I am sure that with the power of love everything would have gone in a very different direction. I can see that love has the ability to cancel all wrongs. The society we live is all about pride. That is the household I lived in. Pride was the most important element present. My mother never could accept her hurts and I could never accept to her how much I needed help. We were tip towing around each other and in silence, just hurting one another.
My house hold for a long time did not know God’s true love and wisdom. I am now sure that when we submit to the Spirit of Truth we will be able to know how to deal with any situation that arises. God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit are to liberate anyone who seeks with a sincere heart. It says as a promise in Psalm 91:14-16 “I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call on me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.”
Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God has commanded you, so that your days may be long and that it may go well with you in the land the LORD your God is giving you.
Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with a promise, so that it may go well with you and that you may have a long life in the land.
I know its hard to honor parents when they are not honoring you. Please do not belittle your faith and your love for God by acting in anger towards them. Parents sometimes are so caught up in their own life mistakes and bad decisions they cannot consider your needs. Give them mercy and pray for them non stop. God will bless you in ways you have never been blessed before.
I will live to love no matter the “humiliation” that is basically what Jesus did for all while he was alive and worst of all when he was being humiliated as the scum of the earth. We all know he was clean of sin and the true royalty of heaven on earth. What did we do? What are we capable of? Why can’t we just choose love? The absence of love got him on that cross!
Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. – 1 John 4:7-8
Please pray with me today…
Jesus with all my heart I ask for full reveal of truth in the hearts of every member in our household.
Holy Spirit come and make your home inside of each individual in our household. Please convict us of any wrongdoing and maintain us real an accountable with one another.
Than you God for your grace and your love that you pour into our family daily.
In the name of Jesus bless each and every person with your wisdom, understanding, and your knowledge.
God loves you and so do I.
3 thoughts on “I forgive you. I prefer healing.”
Wow, so much of what you say here rings a familiar bell for me! I am happy to meet you–I LOVE your blog title, 911Grace, it sums up everything in my life perfectly! You are favored of God, may He continue to bless you ❤ JL
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Thank you. I live to serve Him, I am so blessed to live in his never-ending grace daily. When we learned that we are here to love one another, never insulting, never hating, never storing up bitterness in our hearts. That is when His true love can change us. Is such an amazing inside-out transformation. Mine was from living in bitterness and hate to one day by his grace loving and serving with all my heart. God bless!